The Awesome Power of Being Yourself
Manage the version of yourself that you present to the world WITHOUT forgetting who you are.
This article was originally published on LinkedIn in October of 2021. I’m reposting it here as part of moving my writing to my own platform…
At the time of this writing I have been Rob Garrott for exactly 20,262 days. In the vernacular dialect common in many parts of the world in the year 2021, that translates to… “a long ass time”. I’ve experienced some amazing, terrible, whacky, beautiful, awful, wonderful things in all of those days. I’ve grown and changed through those experiences in countless ways, but even though I’m a very different person than I was on day 7665 (21yrs), on my very last day, no matter what happens I will still be Rob Garrott.
Uhhh Rob that’s not exactly profound?
No, snarky voice inside my head, it is not profound, and that is the point. I don’t know how to be anyone but Rob Garrott. Spoiler alert, it’s kinda the point of the whole article.
Oh? In that case I’ll just go look at TikTok…
Wait wait, don’t go!!! This is one of those “It’s not about the destination, it’s about the journey” things. Ride along with me for a bit and see where this goes! Besides, I’m pretty sure the TikTok is going to melt your brain, and that’s not really conducive to being yourself now is it?
So, what does it even mean to “be yourself”?
Let’s be honest… NOBODY lets the world see 100% of their personality. OK, maybe there’s that one dude, but nobody likes that guy, right??? Children might start off that way in full 100% mode all the time, but they quickly learn to alter their behavior to maximize their desired outcome (except for that one dude). That’s because human brains are mostly wired to seek social acceptance, and most of us craft a version of ourselves that we hope will get us the most of whatever it is we want from a given social situation. For most of human evolution that was a combination of safety and food or resources. In the modern world, it might be the most job security or the most salary, or tragically… the most likes. (Did I use the word “most” too much here? Let me know in the comments.)
Careful readers might have noticed that I dodged the hell out of the question “What does it mean to be yourself?” That’s because I’m still trying to figure out what it means to “be yourself”. 55yrs, 5mo, and 20 days into my journey and I still don’t really know. Every now and then it kinda seems like I’m getting it right, but then I’ll say or do something that somebody thinks isn’t appropriate, and whammo… back to square one.
Take my newsletter, The Awesome Power of Junk and Stuff that you’re reading right now... I created this as a place where I could write in public about things that were on my mind. Turns out that my mind is a messy place (who knew?), and I decided right from the start to not do the “beige corporate-speak” thing. Even though I don’t quite know who Rob Garrott is, I do know that he’s not “beige” or “corporate”... OK well maybe he’s “medium brown” and he does work for a gigantic corporation, but he tries really hard not to BE corporate. (he doesn’t always succeed)
When I write these articles, I use the messy language like “buttload” and “WTF” that is bouncing around in my head. OK, that's not quite true… I use a VERSION of the messy language that is bouncing around in my head. That’s because the original language isn’t always “safe” for public consumption. I’m crafting a version of myself in written form the same way I craft a version of myself when I’m in a meeting or at a party or in the grocery store. The same way that I might say something awkward at a party or have a TMI moment with the person in the checkout line, the written version of Rob isn’t going to please everyone.
But isn’t “crafting a version of yourself” the same as being fake?
Uhhhh no. Remember the cautionary tale of that one dude? He has no filter and nobody likes that guy right? Well, the same goes for that gal who pretends to be something she isn’t. Creating a version of yourself is not like putting on a mask at a fancy dress party. It’s more about self awareness… about understanding the components of your personality and then trying like hell to figure out which ones maximize your expected outcomes and junk.
Simple right?? All you have to do is be conscious of your own character, feelings, motives, and desires. (insert awkward pause here) Uhhhhhh I’d like to THINK that my character doesn’t suck, but last time I checked, I really don’t have good control over my feelings and motives. Especially now, when so much of the world is jacked up, my feelings fluctuate wildly throughout the day and sometimes they don’t line up with my motives at all. It’s kind of a dog’s breakfast as they say.
Uh, Rob you should probably clean that up.
I’m trying to snarky voice in my head! Jeez, what do you think this article is all about? Writing is therapy for me and it’s where I get to explore those messy bits that are giving me problems, and right now I’m having a problem with being myself.
Ok, that sounds a bit melodramatic, but it’s really more about mental health. With everything going on at work and in the world, I’m having a hard time getting my feelings to line up with my situational motives. Exactly at the moment when I want to flip the table over and run out of the room (zoom call) screaming, I have to have a coherent discussion about course viewership or contract details. That table flipping version of myself doesn’t line up with maximizing my desired outcomes related to my retirement account so I have to quickly spin up a version of Rob that is thoughtful and considered and strategically oriented… and it’s exhausting.
Hmmm Isn’t that just being human Rob?
Well, Snarky… I can call you that right? Well, Snarky, I guess you’re right. Each of us does this same exercise every day all day (unless we’re that dude). In the best of times that process is draining, and even though things could be a whole lot worse, these are far from the best of times. I’m f***ing exhausted all the time, and I’m guessing most folks reading this feel the same whether they want to admit it or not.
You know you never really answered the question right?
No, I did not answer the question “What does it mean to be yourself?” The real answer to the question is that each of us has to decide for ourselves, and in that deciding we get to choose who we are from moment to moment. The more real answer is that someone else has answered it better than I could.
Shameless plug alert! On Linkedin Learning we have a ton (perfect place to use “buttload” BTW) of content about personal branding and authenticity and this quote from this movie sums it up nicely…
There is so much room for authenticity and personality in this world. And so few people who feel comfortable letting their true self shine through in everything they do, job search included. But this is literally the secret sauce to the whole thing. Give yourself permission to be the truest and most glorious version of you as you work to advance your career.
That exhaustion I mentioned above is why I’m writing The Awesome Power of Junk and Stuff. It’s part of a battery of things I do to try and keep myself as sane as possible from day to day. Here in this newsletter, the version of me I’m crafting is messy and human and says things like “buttload”. But this version of Rob only says “buttload” when “buttload” is the important or comedic thing to say. (hee hee)
What are the aspects of your personality that you need to “manage” on a regular basis? Spin up a version of yourself and let me know in the comments...
