The Awesome Power of Dying in Lava
There’s nothing wrong with playing video games UNLESS you’re hiding from something in them.
This article was originally published on LinkedIn in April of 2020. I’m reposting it here as part of moving my writing to my own platform…
I was on my way home carrying a full load of stuff when I died…
a horrible…
fiery…
death.
How could this happen? WTF?? But, but… I just… Desmond what do I do??? “You’re dead, dad… You know lava is bad, right?” Uhhh turns out I only “thought” I knew lava was bad.
OK, you’re reading this so you’ve probably guessed that I didn’t “actually” die. But, I did die just a bit on the inside. 3 hours of my life that I’ll never get back…. I’d just spent 3 hours, digging and climbing and fighting in Minecraft in a realm that my son and his friends let me poke around in. I was on my way back to my treetop home to store my hoard when I fell into some lava and died. 3 F###ing hours... I’ll never… get… back.
And that’s when it hit me. I’ve been hiding. Hiding from the world and all its troubles in a video game.
Dude, chill out it’s just a video game… relax.
Let me clarify that I love video games. At 54, I’m part of the first generation to grow up with video games as a permanent thing in their world. I have 2 XBox Ones on 2 different TVs because I didn’t want to share with my son. I suck at them but, I love them… turns out, maybe a little too much.
Video games have always been an escape for me. I prefer to do things in video games that I can’t do in real life. Fight monsters, drive race cars, build worlds, etc. Destiny 2, Minecraft, Project Cars… very different games, but they all have one thing in common. They transport me from where I am to someplace different. For just a little while, I’m not stuck in my house, hiding from something I can’t even see. I’m fighting monsters, and driving race cars and building worlds.
Seriously, dude… chill out. They’re just video games.
Maybe you’re right, but up until now I could always put down the controller, turn off the TV, and the world was right outside… normal, reassuring, relatively safe. Not anymore… The world is not normal or reassuring or safe. Unlike video games, the world is a scary, troubling, place, and I can’t control any of it. Video games let me escape that trouble. Forget… escape… forget. Everything sucks, I’m gonna play video games. Donald Trump said WHAT??? I’m gonna play video games. I can’t shake my new neighbor’s hand????? F### this I’m playing some video games.
Right dude! Let’s escape into some video games!!
Hmmmm… There’s a line where “escape” turns to something different… something deeper… darker. How deep? How dark? It took a fiery death in lava after 3 hours of my short time on this planet to realize I’d crossed that line. I had literally nothing to show for the last 3 hours… nothing. I'd dug up full stacks of digital diamond, gold, red stone, iron, coal… but now… nothing. My inventory was completely empty. I didn’t even have a map anymore. I couldn’t even find my way back home.
But dude… that’s the game… you need to start over.
That’s was the moment I knew I’d crossed a line. Granted… I did create a pretty sweet ass treetop home in a digital world with my son, the most important person in my world, giving me advice and making fun of me at the same time. (Sometimes in the same sentence) But what does that even mean? The thought of starting over was horrifying. I’m 54. I’ve got more years behind than I do ahead!! I think of my self as a creator, but I hadn’t actually created anything.
Dude… you can’t quit playing games!?
Look inner voice, I’m not saying I’m never playing games again. They’re too much fun dammit! I’m just saying that I can't hide in there. I need look up and out at the world. No, I can’t control most of it, but there are things I can control. There are things I can do. Things I can create. What I create might not change THE world, but the things I create will definitely change MY world. They give me a sense of agency, and purpose. They help me expand my mind, and connect me to a community. Video games can do that too, but only if they’re something you’re doing for “fun” and not something you’re doing to “escape”.
Life is short... It’s amazing how 3 words can dominate our thinking. Especially when things get weird. We start to reexamine our place in the world, who we are, what we’re leaving behind. This is a pretty damn weird time for us all, but each of us has a responsibility… firstly to ourselves, and then to the rest of the world. Keep yourself sane, and as healthy as you can. Spend your time creating, learning, growing. Try to have fun when you can, but don’t escape.
